Almost but not quite

Before I start I must mention that I now unofficially hold the record for the largest tips, percentage of winnings wise, in Bally’s, and maybe any poker room’s, history. I probably set it last Fri when an under the gun raise with the hammer brought all folds and I wound up winning the blinds, a whole $3. I graciously gave one to the dealer for a 33% tip. Thought that would never be topped for a total fold preflop at $2-4 limit just ain’t done. However I topped that this past Fri when, in the SB, I completed and had the BB fold his hand for a $2 win. Huh??????? How do you fold that? Hell, if I had been paying attention I would have offered the chop but you rarely see it fold to the SB to begin with but to see the BB just muck, wtf? Well, I took my winnings and again graciously offered the dealer $1 for a tip of 50%. Since I doubt I will ever see $1 winnings as they allow you to chop blinds I think the record will stand for awhile.

Sat. equaled more Bally’s. Needed a monster run of hours to get the qualifying amount for the tourney and didn’t think I was going to be able to do it and still drive home, especially since the late return Fri meant I wasn’t booking out early, so decided to make an overnighter of it. Just one of my many great moves this Sat. Planning to try and get a room down the shore on a Sat morning for Sat night now that Memorial Day has past. Not exactly great planning but that has never exactly been my strong suit. Called Bally’s to see if I could get a room at the poker rate. Do the words fat chance have any meaning? So I searched around on Priceline and Orbitz and such and found a room at the Econo Lodge in Somers Point for a reasonable amount. It wasn’t fancy but all I was looking for was a place to lay the head for a few hours and get a shower in the am. Somers Point, for those not Shore savvy, is right outside Ocean City, about 15 min drive from AC, and noted for 3 things. It has cheap, but decent, motels for those who can’t afford the rates in OC. It has a number of good restaurants right around the causeway over to OC. Third and most notably, it’s where you go to buy your liquor if you are staying in OC and didn’t bring any with you or happen to run out. Ocean City is a “family” resort, i.e. It’s dry. One of the reasons the better eating establishments are in Somers Point. So after the search and breakfast I’m again on the road to the shore. Damn, wish I had bought a place down there years ago when I had money and the prices were reasonable but who knew I’d become a poker nut and the rental prices would skyrocket.

Trip down was uneventful. I was driving down later than I usually liked. I decided to take the back, or old, way down rather than the AC Expressway. As it was late on a Sat morning I wasn’t expecting heavy traffic on the Expressway but I needed gas and a drink so I figured I’d take the scenic route. I shouldn’t be saying this as I’ll probably screw myself up in the future but the old Black Horse Pike is not a terrible drive down to the Jersey Shore and is especially great during the crowded times on the AC Expressway. There can be a lot of traffic and lights at either end as you travel through some strip mall monstrosities but most of the trip is on 4 lane highway with posted speed of 55. There are a few lights along this stretch but it’s mainly farmland, produce stands, custard stands and old auto parts places. The Atlantic Blueberry Co. has its fields along this stretch and you can stop and get flats of berries for about 2/3s the price of berries in the supermarkets during the season. Being the berry lover I am I usually make at least one trip along this route during the summer just to stop there. I “discovered” this route a couple of years ago when I was forced to leave for the Shore on a Friday evening one summer. For the uninitiated, driving to the Shore on a Friday evening between Memorial Day and Labor Day is akin to root canal. Traffic is bumper to bumper the entire length of the expressways, starting on the PA side of the river and continuing until you hit AC. If you are lucky the traffic at least moves around 40. If not, then it would be easier to hike. The same goes for the return trip on Sun night. A usual 90 min to 2 hour ride can take as long as 4-5 hours at the peak of the rush. I have found however that very few people will use the Black Horse. Even in the rush it is usually clear so while I cannot do much about the bridges over the river or the first part of expressway before and after them, I have found that traveling the back roads does make the trip smoother and faster. In fact my return trip this last weekend I saw nary a car on the road while the traffic reports were saying there was an 8 mile delay on the AC Expressway coming out of the city and around the exit for the other Shore points. Now that I’ve revealed this I’ll be all fucked up on future trips. Of course since I probably have very few readers it might not be so bad.

So, on with the tale. A page already and I ain’t even in AC, let alone playing poker. I get to Somers Point and check in to the motel. Get my key and head to AC. Wind up at the poker room in Bally’s around 2 pm and there is a short wait but I’m on a limit table within 15 min. Today I’m looking to make money and not just hours so I have a feeling I’m going to be a pain in the ass to the floor as the table is going to have to be just right. First table isn’t it. Lot of loose passive play, which builds decent pots but no aggressiveness at all, even when some on has the nuts. It’s a family table, a social event. I sit in the 9 seat to start, not my favorite, especially when I’m still a bit tired and my eyes aren’t focusing right. It’s a bitch growing old. I win my second hand at the table when no one bets me off my gutterball on the turn. I may throw $2 in on a gutshot on the flop, depending on the pot, the players and the likelihood of collecting if I hit but will rarely throw the $4 on the turn unless the turn has brought me other outs. I play river rat here though and bet my nut straight after a couple of checks and get about a $30 pot when a couple of people call, including a guy who rivered top two. If he had bet that top pair on the turn it would have been his pot. However he also didn’t raise me with top 2 on the river which saved him a few bucks. As I said, no aggressiveness. There is one older Asian gentleman in the 3 seat who was at least showing a willingness to raise pre and bet out the flop and turn when he was in the hand but not much else. A few hands later the 5 seat opens and I jump in there so I can see things better. It’s a chatty table, lot of fun if I was just killing time but I’m looking to make something today so I know I’m going to be looking for something else soon. The feeling is solidified in a few hands when I grab J-J in the BB and after a bunch of limpers the Asian gentleman raises. I only call for two reasons. I don’t like big pocket pairs in limit as they rarely hold unless you spike the set and also I don’t want to chase the rest of the limpers out if I do hit. Yes it allows more chances to suck out but I’m gambling here for a bit. I get lucky and the flop brings a J on a loose board, no straight or flush draws. I hit perfect so I just check figuring the guy in 3 will bet and I’ll get him. Instead the woman next to me bets and it limps around to me so I raise. I was just going to smooth call figuring that they turn really couldn’t hurt me and I could get the bigger bets but then I figured, what the hell, most of these people aren’t going to understand the implications and are going to throw the extra $2 in anyway, which should make up for those that wouldn’t have tossed in the $4 if the 6 or 3 seats bet. I get tie extra $2 from everyone but one guy who actually starts busting chops, in a friendly fashion, about the check raise. He obviously knew what it meant and just as apparently knew it wasn’t usually done on the type of table we were playing. I bet out the turn and river which ere both bricks, got two callers all the way and the set held against two pair. The table talk turned to joking about me check raising and “how dare I do it” and there was a lot of joking about it but that and the fact that both hands I won someone held two pair and just called, especially on very loose boards, meant that any money to be made here was going to be ground out. So I go looking for the floor and a table change to see what else is out there.

The Floor tells me I’m in luck; they are opening up a new table a bit short so I can move. The new table is the table of my wildest dreams and also my worst nightmares. We start with 7 players. I hate playing limit short handed as the pots usually aren’t there unless it’s a bunch of aggressive players. This table looks like it might have potential though. There are 4 “kids”, an older guy on my right who says he doesn’t know much about the game and a middle aged guy to my left working a racing form. I ask him a question or two about the ponies and find out that he owns a few, trotters, and has one racing that night. He says he usually plays $2-5 NL but he can’t concentrate on that and the races so he’s playing $2-4 limit until the races are over to kill time. If he’s telling the truth between him and the “kids” it could get interesting. It does. I’m sitting in the 7, the guy with the racing form the 8, the kids are in the 1, 3, 4 and 10 and the older guy in the 6. Game starts and I start to believe the guy in the 8. He rarely limps, not afraid to raise and reraise and especially not afraid to fold to raises even if he has $2 in the pot already something you rarely see at this level so he’s probably truthful about the $2-5. The pots are decent as the younger players aren’t afraid to play with this guy and my game tightens up as he’s on my left so I gotta figure that any hand could be a raised one so no dicking around. I’m doing a lot of folding as my cards suck, big time. I wouldn’t even be playing these in a family style game. No K or A suited, no suited connector or gaps, hell no connectors at all unless it’s 2-3 or such. Any paint is coming with a low card for a nice Acey-deucey hand. Finally, a table where there is money to be made and I’m stone cold. This goes on for a bit longer. Some players come, some go but the game remains the same as the movers are a all youngsters, early 20’s who play like they think they are Gus Hanson in the WPT. Guy in the 6 seems to be proving his words also, about not knowing the game as he is playing some real garbage. However it is lucky garbage as he’s sucking out enough to build his stack. Finally I get a hand, pair of ladies and raise pre. The 8 drops but the rest of the table calls. Flop comes 3 small rags, rainbow, and guy in th6 bets and I raise with a couple callers including the 6. Turn another rag and again the 6 bets and I raise and get one caller and the 6. River is a 6 which pairs the board and again the 6 bets and again I raise. Other player drops, 6 seat calls and turns over 8-6 off for trip 6s. I bite my tongue and try to go Zen so I don’t stroke out again. Nice hand some how makes it through my clenched teeth. After all, I want this guy playing those kinds of hands, that’s where money is made. He got lucky, that’s all. Game continues. Little while later I pull A-A UTG and raise. Guy in the 8 calls and guy in the 10 reraises one player at the other end calls as does the small and big blinds and I cap. The 8 seat folds and everyone else calls. Again a beautiful flop for a large pair in limit. It’s a loose, low rainbow, an 8-6-3. The SB checks and the BB bets and I raise, the 10 reraises, everyone folds to the BB, who calls, and I again cap with both guys calling. Turn a brick, BB bets, I raise, 10 just calls and so does the BB. River again pairs the board with a 6 and again the 6 bets and, remembering last time I just call as does the 10 seat. 6 seat turns over 6-4 sooooted this time and rakes a damned good pot, again. Now I’m tiliting, especially as the guy stacks his chips and leaves. If this was online at least 5 guys would be swearing the place is rigged. Maybe CK is right. Two hands later I’m in the SB and I do what I haven’t done in weeks, I complete the blind and check dark starting my move to donkery which will later move to jackassery. I’ll do this in a game where I’m playing for fun and really don’t care about winning or losing but here I’m on tilt and say wtf. The guy in the 8 seat also checks dark and we see the flop. Guy in the 10 bets and the other side of the table call so now I gotta look. Frikkin A, I got bullets again so I raise and the 8 folds and the 10 seat calls and so do a couple of others. Flop isn’t flushy though there is a straight draw. Turn bricks and it checks to me and I bet and 10 calls as does the 3, everyone else folds. River is an 8 filling in a possible straight and I bet and 10 raises and 3 folds. I figure I’m beat and it’s my fault for tilting but I just gotta know what this guy was playing so I call. He turns over 8-6 off, what again? for 2 pair. Now this is running long so I’m going to take a break here, just I was looking to do at the table. Suffice to say I played my button before walking off and wound up having K-K cracked. Yes, I know it’s limit and I expect it to happen but come on, As twice and Ks all in the space of 4 hands. Throw in the Qs the last orbit and you would think at least one hand would have held. Especially since at least two of those hands were played very aggressively by not one but two players. You would think even the biggest of guppies would realize that when two players are capping the pot at least one of them has a big hand and if the flop ain’t got no outs and it’s still being capped your chances of winning are two, slim and none. However I must have pissed someone off as slim never left town and came home to roost to mix a few metaphors. Enough is enough. I get up, go take a whiz and go looking for another table change. I like the aggressiveness here but my luck obviously sucks and I gotta do something to both change it and my mood.

So while I’m taking a break at the table I’ll also .break here to keep this at a reasonable length. More boredom and jackassery in the next installment. Thanks for your attention.