It's harrasment (or is it) but is it sexual?

I had started to write my latest post about some poker since I’ve spent the last couple nights playing O8 and Doug had a home game last Sat but my mind started wandering thru the paths of social issues and social justice and I started asking myself questions. Since I couldn’t come up with any I thought I might ask my devoted readers. Oh alright, it’s probably more like any dumb, unlucky son of a bitch who stumbles across this site but I am still curious as to what people think. I know there are some lawyers out there in blogger land so feel free to chime in.


No we all know there is a lot of obvious sexual harassment out in the world and a lot of not so obvious. Some people have differing opinions as to what constitutes sexual harassment. Boss pressures an underling for a date, or more is harassment but is a coworker just asking another for a date such? Lewd remarks are definitely in the harassment category but is issuing a comment on appearance? As I said there is a grey area where some folks might consider a line being crossed and others not. This however isn’t where my mind was wandering.

The situations my mind was playing with are obviously harassment, the question is, do they come under the heading of sexual harassment? I’m sure most of you have come across these types at work. In a more physical labor situation such as construction or factory work they would probably be construed as jokesters having some fun but is what about an office setting? And should the factory floor be considered any different than an office? You know the type I’m talking about. There’s the typical juvenile who thinks that calling or insinuating someone is gay is the biggest insult they can hand out. They obviously never noticed that a lot of gay people are smart, successful and have a satisfactory sex life. Maybe a higher proportion of gays fall into this category than your average straight folks. Seems like it to me at times. Be that as it may, this character has no originality. They hurl the “gay” epitaph out there adnauseum as if one hadn’t heard it the first time. They purport to want to know how the “boyfriend” is doing or girlfriend in the case of the ladies, and want to now what you and the friend did on your date last night or over the weekend.


This brings us to the second type. They don’t bother with the gay situation. They just want to know all the details of your sex life and aren’t shy about asking or about making up hypothetical situations for you. Sometimes they may be honestly curious, if not tactful or in others the questions are asked in the sprit of implying you don’t have a sex life and that there is something wrong with you. Some members of the previous category use this tactic as a way of implying the target’s sex life is a gay one.

Then there is the character who thinks he’s killing two birds with one stone by picking on two people, either of the same or opposite sex and either saying that he is going to hook them up for a wild night of sex or, by asking them questions imply that they have already hooked up on their own and he’s just trying to solicit the details. You sometimes get one of the victims figuring it’s all in fun and “going along” with the “joke”.

So, as I said, most of you have probably encountered these characters. Is what is going on a joke or is it harassment? If harassment is it sexual harassment? It’s obviously not what is commonly considered sexual harassment, where one person is pressuring another for a sexual relationship but the context of the situation revolves around sexual content. What should be done about such characters? Is this kind of behavior OK in one setting but not others? As I said, my mind sometimes wanders strange paths at times and I wonder what others think. Feel free to share your opinion. Feel free to tell me to fuck off.

I appreciate the time spent listening to me. Thanks for the visit.