Friday, May 21, 2010

Online Origins, Part 2, Cyberspace Meets Reality

Took time to post about Saturday’s game and a few other things but time to continue the trip on the virtual wayback machine. So off we go on another exciting into the history of my online adventures. Aren’t we all excited?

I was playing around on America Online for not quite a year, spending a lot of time in the chat room LaPub, mainly on Tuesday nights. I occasionally visited other nights but costs basically kept my time down and I had come to know the PubTends, the name given to the hosts of the room, from 8 to 10 fairly well. Oldwolf was the first person I had talked to as he was working the room when I first found out about. SeaSiren followed him and again I became very friendly. Oldwolf wasn’t really that old and Siren lived by a lake rather than a sea but who cares. So I was hanging around this chat room and after a few months I hear talk about something called Live out in the Chicago area, Wheaton to be exact. It seems that the founder of the room, a woman named Lavona had a gathering at her place on a weekend in early July. I said what the hell, I’m conversing with these people I might as go meet some of them. My family was aghast. You don’t know these people, they could be ax murders, was repeated more than once. Hell, I don’t know a lot of people I meet at the local bar or at the Jersey Shore either and I’ve survived those places. This is different in only distance. Besides, I’ve never been to Chicago. Since I’m new at my job I don’t have a whole lot of vacation time but it’s only a weekend so I decide I’ll leave Thursday night, take Friday and Monday off and do some major league driving. At the time I was driving an Acura Legend I had just bought before I had been laid off my old job and had never really had given it a chance to stretch its legs. I was used to a large part of the drive as I had been traveling from E. Lansing, Mi. to home and back the years I had lived in Mi. Besides the junkers I was driving then were nowhere near as good as the Legend.

So I packed the car when I got home from work Thursday, left a bit early, and caught a nap figuring on shooting across I-80 through the night. Got a few hours sleep, filled a cooler with a couple boxes of burgers and meatballs, my new job was IT manager for a meat processing company, as a donation to the event and headed out about 7-8 that night. Driving 80 at night in a car meant for driving is an experience not to be forgotten when you are young enough to do it and old enough to appreciate it. The Eastern part of PA you have to be cautious, it’s populated enough that the state troopers are usually out and about. I had it timed that it was still fairly early when I hit it. Nice cruising, making good time. I hit the central area of the state just as it was getting later. Here the towns are fewer and farther away from the highway. Cops are there but they are usually cruising, don’t have to worry about them sitting on the side of the road once it gets past 10-11 at night. Foot gets a bit heavier and the engine is purring. The western half of the state is deserted, ain’t even that many long haulers out right now which is how I had it planned. I’ve learned to be cautious through Ohio; those troopers are persistent and cut you no slack, so I want to make time before I get there. This is still the age of 55 even though my speedometer goes to 140. I never did pin that needle on this or subsequent trips but I gave the car the workout I had been wanting to since I bought it. Cranked it back down at the Ohio line but was still moving pretty well. Even though it was late, or very early, traffic picked a bit up once it blended in to the Ohio Turnpike but still not exactly bumper to bumper. I keep cruising and eventually pass my old turnoff when I would head in to Mi. in the old days, Toledo exit, think it might have been 5. A mile or two off that exit there used to be a place called Johnny’s Diner that I and a couple of friends had once hit on a road trip one night. Don’t ask. All I remember that something we ate had us driving back to E. Lansing with all windows and the sunroof open even though there was a steady rain falling. Just a short aside there, back to our adventure. So I’m booking on down the road and I’m soon in uncharted territory as I pass an exit we had once used to get to E. Lansing when we missed the other turnoff. So I’m booking along and soon I hit the Indiana border. Obviously I have hit the anteroom to the Great Plains. Ohio ain’t much but there are some dips in the road. Indiana was flat. Maybe not as flat as Kansas, which a friend once described as being so flat that he hated to get out of his car to take a piss because the people in the house 10 miles across the field might be able to see him, but it seemed damn flat to a Pa. boy like me. Don’t have any idea of what the cops in this state are like but it’s early morning, there’s no traffic and it’s a flat stretch of road. Maybe I can talk my way into just a warning if I get caught and off I go. Besides we’re only talking fine here, it ain’t a border state with Pa. so no reciprocal points. Not much to remember about the trip across In., not much there but farm fields. Do remember I had to turn off the ac as it was fogging the windshield so I opened the sunroof and somewhere along the journey I must have passed an herb farm because I smelled basil for about 5 or so miles. And I hit the outskirts of Chicago about an hour after the sun came up.

So now I made great time up one state and across 3. I now proceed to take over 3 hours to travel the last 60 miles of the trip. Little did I realize what the traffic conditions were in Chicago when you combined the morning of a work day with construction season? And I thought Philly was bad. Instead of my usual lead foot I needed a quick one on the break and my head on a swivel. Never knew when a closed lane would be coming at you. Fun part about this was I made several trips out to Chicago for a number of years and for the first 3 the construction was not only still going on but actually expanding, you would think they would finish one part then move to another. Not Chicago. Then all of a sudden it was gone. I made a trip and I saw no sign of construction anywhere. It was like Poof, the magic fairy made all traces vanish. Never did figure out how they did it. Anyhoo, I creep my way up the so called expressway until I hit the cross highway to take me out to Wheaton. My hotel is right off the main road but it’s a bit early for check in so I head for the gathering spot. It’s only about 10 min. away and I find it with no problem even though this is before the age of GPS. I do wonder if I’m at the right place though as I am confronted by what used to be called row homes in my younger days but when they are in this newer iteration they’re town homes. Nice looking place but seemed a bit cramp for a large sized party. Might as well find out and I head on up to the door and ring the bell. It’s opened by a woman about a decade or so older than I and I’ll never forget my introduction to the group. After all that time on the road to get here the first words I’m greeted with are “Who the hell are you?” Kind of left me a bit speechless. I finally manage to say that I’m herb, aka Wolfshead and find out I’m talking to Linda, known online as AFALindaS, who invites me in. While still wondering about the greeting I’m introduced to a few of the people who are there, most of whom I do not know as they aren’t regulars on Tuesday nights when I’m in the room. I meet Lavona, our hostess, and John, her husband. Her ex, Richard, is also there. Seems he does the honors in the cooking department for the weekend. I meet a few others that have shown up already and after giving them the boxes of burgers and such, which aren’t used that weekend though considering the quality and amount of food served I can’t complain. Anyway I grab a drink and fade in to the background and listen to the plans for the weekend.

Seems somewhere in the neighborhood of 30 to 40 people are expected and Richard is cooking lunch that dayv and dinner the next. The talk turns about the night’s activities some of which seems to involve a lot of Super soakers and Silly String and the anticipated reactions of the neighbors once they are brought in to play. I did say this house was in the middle of a group of town homes didn’t I? Not exactly the appropriate battleground for such items. What the hell, I don’t have to live here. There is also talk of a trip after lunch to a place that is basically a high class adult store. Have I mentioned the group around me right now is mainly women? Very bawdy women as I was to come find out. One of the adventures of LaPub was to see how far one could push the envelope. As I explained earlier America Online had its Terms of Service, rules you could not violate and overt sexual language was one of the no-nos. Suggestion and double entendre however became a well developed skill and pushing the envelope a time honored ritual. Well it seemed that it carried over to the Live get togethers. OK, in for a penny. A trip into Chicago for dinner and a night at a club s planned for dinner. Saturday it seems a trip to the Brookfield Zoo is on the schedule and then dinner and general mayhem. Sunday is brunch and everyone heading home. Sounds like a busy weekend.

So I head over and check in to the hotel and head back over to the house for lunch. Afterwards I get a couple of passengers, including my greeter from this morning with whom I seem to have a lot in common, and we head over to the adult store, going by the famous name of Studio 54 if I remember right. It’s an interesting place compared to what I’m used to seeing in an adult store. It’s not cheesy or set away from every thing else. The building isn’t the standard windowless cinder block structure nor is it garishly done. Actually it looked like a standard shop you might find anywhere. The front could be considered PG13 actually. Mainly sexy outfits and maybe a few less obtrusive accoutrements. Basically looked like a clothing store. The back room however was anything but. Videos, rubber novelties, whips, chains, handcuffs, you want it, you got it. Seems they were the main supplier to the strippers and drag queens in the Chicago area. Got to talking with the clerk and he said they had files on sizes and preferences of a lot of their customers. What a job. When we get back I find that some of the women had availed themselves of the delights of the back room. Some folks were in for an interesting night. Though not this trip I will say that subsequent trips did bring more than one proposition. It could be a high old time.

I head back to the hotel for a bit of a rest. Later we are headed in to Chicago to hit the North Pier. Dinner was to be at Dirty Dick’s, whose mottos were, the Shame of Chicago and You Can’t Kill a Man Born to Hang. This just keeps getting better. Then the plans call for a stop at the Baja Beach Club, an innocuous name. Was I to learn different. After a short nap I get ready and head back to the house to pick up a few passengers and we head to North Pier. One thing I notice when we got off the highways and on to city streets is that compared to Philly Chicago was a clean city. Parking was a lot better also and we head in to North Pier. We head in to dinner and I get my first look at Dick’s. It’s nothing fancy, basically a lot of picnic style tables and seats. Everyone mingles. Then I look over to the bar and above it looks like an acre of bras tacked to the ceiling. Hokay, great atmosphere. Sitting at the table I meet more folks who are attending the weekend but haven’t been to the house yet. Next thing I know is the waitresses start bringing drinks and a favorite, among the women at least, is something the mix at the table and slip a condom over. It obviously generates a gas as the condom starts to expand. Whether it was the actual drink or just the accompaniment to one I never really found out. Another popular one was something served in a flute shaped glass which the woman was supposed to pick up and drink without using her hands. Hard to see how the night could get any better. Food was ok but nothing special but the presentation was in keeping with everything else going on. One of the best dinners I ever had.

After dinner it’s still a bit early to hit the club so the crowd wanders. Some decide to get a bit of fresh air, others head for the virtual reality arcade in the pier and some of us just decide to wander the shops. Don’t remember much about them but on had a pretty eclectic collection of sweat shirts. One stood out, saying Because I’m The Fucking Queen. I remember it because my mother used to say it was because she was the queen when my brother or I questioned her when we were too old for the because I said so routine. Somehow though I don’t think this one would go over big with her however. After wandering around we decide to hit the club.

The club is another eye opener. Right after we go through the door there is a tub of bottled beer, Bud and Bud Light, the special of the night. How I noticed the beer is beyond me as presiding over the tub is a very lovely young lady wearing, if that is the word, a couple pieces of dental floss as tastefully as something like that can be worn. You bet that was an eye opener. What have I been missing doing my drinking in taprooms and fire halls for the last few years? After we get seated it seems that there are a number of scantily dressed members of the female persuasion peddling all kinds of different ways to part men from their money. Most popular seemed to be the two young lovelies in high boots and whips with a leather belt full of test tubes containing shooters. Seemed it was very popular for someone to pay them to go serve some one a drink in a most humiliating manner. Thank god I was a newbie this trip, no one wasting their hard earned dollars on me. Later trips I wasn’t so lucky. The show consisted of two guys playing grand pianos across from one another and running a singing war of very bawdy ballads. It was a hoot and I spent most of the night laughing my ass off. We closed the place up and headed back to the house to drop the passengers off, everyone making plans to eat breakfast wherever and meet later in the day to head to the zoo. Seems Linda and a couple others saw fit to allow me to tag along for breakfast so I head for the hotel and a short night’s rest.

Getting long again and I haven’t even gotten around to my picnics yet but we’ll take a break and continue later. Thanks for the listen.


Josie said...

Best post EVAR. Who knew you were a story teller? Please continue story and I will be super nice to you for one week.

I was just telling someone (lightning?) that his post was too darn long. Yours aint long enough!!!

What a pleasant suprise to enjoy my coffee with this morning.

lightning36 said...

"It’s an interesting place compared to what I’m used to seeing in an adult store." Freakin' pervert.

I love hearing this stuff from the old chat days. We'll really have to talk about it sometime.

I am surprised that Josie read the whole thing. Is there a big surprise coming -- that she was one of the sleazoid chatters you met?

dbcooper said...

Great story. Reminds me of the old days in yahoo chat...........

Josie said...

Funny enough, I have never been in a "chat room" so it wasn't me. Hell I was probably 12 years old when this all took place.

Wolfshead said...


While I'm guilty as charged that statement is a bit misleading. I've only been in one adult store other than the one mentioned and that was because I guy I worked with before this took us there in the middle of a bar crawl one night. He knew the owner from his former job. I was just generalizing from the ones in the area here, grimy store fronts or cinderblock whatervers.


you should know by know that I love to hear the sound of my own voice. At least thru the keyboard people who don't wish to listen can tell me to shut up without feeling they are offending me.

Wolfshead said...


you're from Chicago, were you there in those days?

Think I still have pics from this and other gatherings. If I ever get my main computer and scanner up and running maybe I'll post some pics some day.

lightning36 said...

The room I was part of was called, I think, 20-40somethings. Later, some of the regulars started a room called Rocco's Treehouse.

I don't think I should post some of my chat pictures. Several of the women sent nekkid pictures to me. Not that I am suggesting that women who reads your blog should do that. : o )

Just having fun with you about the adult store, of course. In grad school I went into one with a friend (female). She asked the guy working the counter, "Do you have amy books with animals in them?"
Those were the days ...

Josie said...

Jeezus Lightning, if you were a
40something back then, what r u now, like 102 now? :)

Wolfie, get those fingers moving! Mama's got nothing to do tonight but read!

Wolfshead said...

Sorry Josie, not tonite. Anticipation is good for the soul. They are moving but in addition to the post I have a new project on the burner. With so much time on my hands I'm looking into finally getting something up on the domain I've owned for about 10 years and have never done anything with and maybe moving my blog there. So starting to fiddle with some web design crap to see if I can come up with something that isn't complete bullshyt.

lightning36 said...

@ Josie

I was 20 then and am 38 now, beeee-otch

Wolfshead said...

a youngster, though you would have been just old enough to participate in our outings

Josie said...

@wolfie - "Sorry Josie, not tonite." Funny enough, I've never heard those words before! :)

@Lightning - LOLLLLLL Honey, neither of us is 38!

Memphis MOJO said...

Good story, great comments! Too funny.

lightning36 said...

I tried. : o P

Josie said...


harada57 said...
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