Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I'm infamous

Sitting here playing some poker waiting for the Phils to start so I figured I'ld lay out a few more comments.

Well the support group met again today and Monday was a day that would live in infamy. They remembered me, not sure whether it was with affection or not, but they remembered me. Mary Kathleen asking me if i had any talking points for the meeting when she came in. Told her the blog was interesting today but that she would have to read it. Didn't want give some of those people heart palpitations. She did seem to expect that I would be throwing my two cents in conversation however. Before everything started a few of those I had gone to therapy with made some comments on my propensity to keep things lively, shall we say. Most were good natured but there were a couple I wasn't sure about. Not that they were negative but neutral sounding, could be read any way.

Well the meeting kicks off with Mary Kathleen asking if everone has a seat. Sorry but you don't feed me softballs like that. I just have to let loose with an "aw come on now" as every participant is confined to a wheelchair. That elicits a laugh. She was refering however to a woman standing behind her husband's chair but the opportunity was still too good to pass up. She brings up a book she was refering to on Mon before I sent her meeting all to hell, by about a PhD who suffered a stroke and her 5 year path to recovery. Sounds interesting but the main purpose was to lead the discussion down the path of "what if". After some remarks about things discussed Mon it was, "if you were talking to someone writing a book, how would you advise them about the care of stroke recovery persons." Again the main issue is dignity with these folks. Not just the poop police questions that are part of my schtick here so far, dignity in all things. Necessary intrusion for medical purpose are bad enough. but there are a ton of other things.

My suggestion for people to keep things as normal as possible when dealing with people recovering from stroke seemed to meet with general approval. While we may be impaired in some fashion, and while some may have other than just physical impairments most of us still retain our mental faculties even if we can't express what we are thinking. We are adults, not children, even if we must learn things as children do and play children's games to do so. Encouragement is fine but keep it real, as if we are adults, not as if we are children or pets. We don't need to be babied. For those of us who can do things, let us or at least let us try. We can't relearn it if someone else does it for us. If we can't do it we will let you know and ask for help. As one gentleman said, don't ignore us. We're here and we can hear. As he said, he's in the room and the kids are discussing, "what do we do about pop?" I told him say. "hey, pop's here, why not ask him?" To hell with politeness, some things must be met head on. Whether ignorance or too much compassion, both can be injurous to the recovery of stroke victim. The main requirement, IMHO, to making a great comeback from stroke is maintaining a positive and realistic attitude and affronts to dignity, however they come, whatever the reason can really set that back. After all, not everyone has an ego as big as mine and the attitude of go to hell if you don't see the world as I do, that they can shrug things off.

Damn, will you listen to me. I wasn't even sure I wanted to attend those meetings. As I was described once, it's not as if I don't play nice with other kids, it's just I don't need other kids to be able to play. Group stuff ain't my type of thing unless it is poker or bar hopping and here I go sounding like some kind of radical activist. Hey though, while only a short timer here compared to most of them, and in relatively a lot better shape I find I like these folks and relate to them. If things bother me it has got to be hell for some of them and if my spouting off can change some attitudes then I am more than willing to do so. Hey, when did I ever need an excuse to fire off my yap anyway.

Most of these people don't have the ability to get online and shout at the world to relieve their frustration the way I do. The fact that I have been able to get on here and joke and complain and, in general, just spill out my bullshit has done much to help me maintain a good mental attitude over the last week or so. The knowledge that there are people out there actually listening, or at least being kind enough to pretend they are has been icing on the cake. The words of encouragement are those little sugary flowers they set around the edges. Whoops, being diabetic maybe I should come up with a better analogy there. Be that as it may, what I'm trying to say is that while I have had a lot of help from people, both known and unknown, out there I have had options to help me cope. Not everyone has those options so if you do have dealings with such as us, please do not add to the troubles, we have enough as it is. Please think.

For those out there in the poker blogger community I wish to appreciate my thanks for the welcome reception to your world. I hope I can keep this thing running and be as entertaining as I hope it was, when not talking about shit and vibrators. God, did I just put that visual out there? (Bam, you're right, still some milage left.) Thanks again and I soon hope to be out there giving Falstaff more reasons to hate me as his jinx.

Thanks for allowing be to bore you again.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Not a bore at all. Over the past week this has been my number one "must read" blog.

Great work on everything. Writing, recovering and helping others to recover.

Memphis MOJO said...

Sitting here playing some poker waiting for the Phils to start so I figured I'ld lay out a few more comments.

How about those fightin' phillies!!

Goatlady said...

What pray tell is your full tilt name? I love you!! I will play poker and listen to you wail all night, just get me a beer between breaths!