Just when you think things are getting routine this place finds a way to suprise you and, coincidentally give me fodder for this blog.
So they do some major scheduling on me this am and I have 2 straight hours of therapy. Tiring but it gets it out of the way rather than leaving those little 30 to 60 min gaps in between which are about as useful as tits on a boar hog. So I'm feeling a lot better this morning and we're off and running at 9. Everything is going smooth but fairly routine until I hit the 11 OT session. Well my regular therapist is off today so I'm getting pot luck and I draw, what to me is a cute kid. Nice, seems to know her job but, unlike Carolyn, my regular, seemingly a bit stiff and business like. My normal bandinage is falling flat, unlike the give and take that goes on with Carolyn.
I figure, oh well, a good workout but a boring one. Then about 20 min in to the session the girl goes out of the room and brightens up my whole day. So help me god, she comes walking in with a freaking industrial strength vibrator, the kind I have only seen before in porn movies. Not the practically shaped kind but one of those big ol' wands with the circular head, this one being smooth on one side and knobby on the other. Holy shit. What's this, she gonna sit on the floor and give me a show while I'm supposed to wank off using my left hand? That would be some major incentive to get that arm working believe me. My mind is racing, both with all kinds of possibilities and the fact that today's post is going to have something interesting in it, after all the crap jokes can only carry you so far. So there I am, totally cracking up and both the therapist and the woman in the session with us are looking at me as if I have gone mad. I have no idea how far I can take this thing without being offensive. With Carolyn it would have been a blast, So I step lightly into the issue, talking a bit around the subject. You can see the light slowly dawn in the other patient's eyes about where my thought process is, tho she apparantly isn't finding the humour in it I am . The therapist is totally clueless however unless she is covering well. Oh well, I guess I'm not going to get away with my usual smart ass so I'll just have to be satisfied with having something interesting to blog about. Too bad, the kid was good looking enough to have made a decent amatuer video. Besides, can't wait to see what Carolyn thinks about this tomorrow. She's still leary about mentioning the word stool in my presence.
BTW, the vibrator did have a totally legitimate, if prosaic, purpose in therapy. It seems that, if applied to the proper muscles in the arm, it stimulates them and makes it much easier to make certain movements with the hand and wrist. Who knew? Still think it can be put to better uses but it now gives me a reason to acquire and keep one handy just in case I ever meet someone who is willing to compliment the way I think. "Hey, I'm not a pervert, I got a legitimate reason for having it. However I am more than willing to allow you find other reasons for its being". God, I am such a sick puppy. Now I got the support group in another hour or so. What can I do to liven that up and give myself some more blog fodder?
BTW, only a few more posts from here at Happy Acres, also affectinately known as Bryn Mawr Rehab. I'm getting sprung Fri morning. They enjoy my company so much that they really don't wish me to leave but one must do what one must. Actually they think that if I hang around another week they can release me as a mostly indepndent while now they say I still need a keeper. You know, I actually find myself agreeing with them and under other circumstances might accede to thir wishes. This weekend however, my daughter comes to visit and having not seen her since July I ain't spending it here so we are splitting. Promised them I will be dilligent with the out patient therapy. Main isues seem to be balance, I can navigate but they are afraid that I'm not quite ready to recover if I should stumble, and my arm, which would benefit from the extra week of intensive work here. Also, if they can get the extra week approved by the insurnce company it would be an extra week of therapy not charged to the account. Seems insurance companies are willing to approve in patient stays felt necessary but put strict limit on out patient stuff.. It figures.
Time to get ready for the support group. Thanks again for allowing me to bore you.
2 years ago
2 comments:
Well, you must be a hell of a lot stronger than me Sir! I'da been, (pardon the pun) all over her and her vibrator for sure!
Getting sprung Friday sounds great! Just be a big boy and take it one step at a time, and I'm sure all will go well.
One question though. Will there be a cerimonial FedEx package sent to the crap cops over the weekend?
And you thought it could only take us so far! Hmpfffff !
;)
I'll give you $20 for the vibrator!
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